Blaine and Kurt had their first roll in the gay hay this week. Here are some key things I think they should have known before going bumper to bumper. For those already filling holes like there’s no tomorrow you may find some wise advice here for you too.
- The first and golden rule is you can only sleep with the same man once! Like all good rules there is an exception, and that is if you manage to do so well at being a gay all the faces become one fleshy puddle of sweat and jizz.
- No matter what rumours you may have hear to the contrary do not wear a condom. To take part in gay sex you must be a horrible soulless creature, God invented AIDS for a reason and it is so gays could catch it, do not get in the way of God’s will.
- Use your teeth.
- Finally, and I cant stress this enough. You must, MUST have a child watch you. It can be off putting at first, their tears and what not, but do not let this take you away from the task at hand. Bumming is not just two men wanting to enjoy the pleasure moment but a vile act that defiles the youth of today. If the child is holding a burning cross, this is even better.