An open letter to anyone that will have me

In recent weeks various publications and websites across the UK (and possibly the world, I’m really not that fussy) received this email:

I LOVE YOU PLEASE LET ME WRITE FOR YOU. *KISSES*

I won’t lie, I thought my enthusiasm would shine through, so the lack of response has been a disappointment. Instead of resting on my very sexy behind I have formulated a second wave of attack in the form of ANOTHER EMAIL. Don’t applaud my genius just yet, save it for the end.

As my last correspondence was carried out in secret, I felt this time I should make it open for the world to see:

Hello,

I realise now that my last email maybe wasn’t the best approach, soz, I just get so excited.

Any who, I love this site, I love this site so much that I want to make it pregnant. Pregnant with my words!

I have written in the past, I promise. I was the online editor for 69 Magazine, sadly not as sexy as you would think, for around three years. I would give a link to the site but there is no point as in a recent re-brand they deleted all my work. I AM NOT BITTER. I wrote for Bent, which is as sexy as you might think. Along with those beauties I have written a flurry of my own self indulgent blogs which you can look see at boysies.com, the one I am most proud of is yourfaceisanadvert.com.

Some of my favourite pieces that I did do can be found here:

A review

Jessie J is a schizo 

A deeply insightful look at the media

Remember that time when someone had a baby and it wasn’t their baby and everyone did a shout? 

An ‘amusing’ piece

You are a fag and everyone knows it

A love letter

Mary will you marry me?

A rant

I could have babies too if I wanted

A beautiful introspective journey of self discovery

I am a gay

A work of fiction

When Lara Croft won The Apprentice

I have also created such beautiful titles as:

Do it with a brother, do it with a dude

And

Two vaginas are better than none.

If there is space on your team for a little gay with a big heart it would mean the world to me. If there isn’t then I have a packet of biscuits and a large tub of Fluff so I think I will be ok.

I look forward to hearing from you. I am on the twitter @boysies

David

Now if this doesn’t get me a publication I don’t know what will.

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