There you go, that’s the review. I figured I’d put as much effort into it as they did the film. I hope you enjoyed it. Nothing more to see here, move along.
Well if you insist….
The found footage style ‘o’ film has had a special place in my heart. Since The Blair Witch Project had me develop a fetish for snot spewing ladies I’ve been fascinated by where the genre could go next. Monster, Troll Hunters, REC and Chronicle have all shown that it’s not just a cheap gimmick. Well done them.
Then we have the Paranormal Activity franchise.
They scare me. I figured it had more to do with my own ghost heeby jeebys (I refuse to live in house with two stories out of fear that there are ghosts in the empty rooms.) Well that was until number four and I realised that the rest had been shit hot bundles of tension. This one, not so much.
Lady from the first film who stole the baby from the second, moves in across the road from wholesome family. Something vague happens to her, leaving her creepy toddler dandering the streets. Social services and some demons think it’s fine for him to move in with the bland folk. Things start going bump in the night.
Continuing the story of the PA world means little to me, I don’t care about the expanded mythology of too many women and not enough children. What I want is creepy imagery that I can relate to in my own home. What I received was an hour and half advert for Kinect (it makes pretty pretty lights if you stick on some night vision whilst its switched on.)
The other films at least tried to explain why the characters lives had been turned into creepy Big Brother, this time there was no such luck. Instead the family give a big ol’ fuck you to the environment and left their laptops on at all times. There’s also an unexplored B story involving mutant teenagers with freaky arms that can hold cameras at extraordinary distances from their bodies.
The execution of this tale is so rough that when the inevitable tossing of people around rooms is about to happen, suddenly everyone seems to have gained about a stone and decided that power dressing is the new vogue.
A good point:
Kathryn Newton does an average job.
Well done to all concerned, you made a truly pedestrian film. For the next one can you please go all Aliens, more marines and Sigourney Weaver in a power loader, thanks.