With all this talk in the media round chimneys I got to thinking of my favourites.
1. The chimney on the roof that Julie Martin ‘fell’ from.
I say fell, we all know she was pushed, Hannah ‘Oh Harold I don’t want a coffee I want a cappuccino even though it’s the middle of the day and not breakfast so I look like a bell end’ did it, I have a whole funfax filled with evidence.
2. The Sunnydale Chimney (bottom right)
Buffy Buffy Buffy, everything else you do was so accurate and believable. When the parts of the Judge were brought from around the world to create a really angry Smurf, I was on board, when Buffy could afford really expensive leather trousers even though her mum works for a never visited museum, I thought, well OK.
Side track, you can skip this if you like.
Did Joyce even have a job? Apart from that one really unsuccessful use of 1630 Rovello Drive as a storage facility and some vague occasions of abandonment it was never really mentioned. But yet, look at all the ornaments they have, how are Buffy and Dawn clothed? How was there enough money to cut open her brain, have a funeral and then let the home become student central where everyone refuses to work? Why didn’t Willow and Tara work, not even a part time job at the magic shop? It was during the summer break so they had plenty of time! Is there a curse on the house? Why hasn’t this been explored. In season 8 and 9 we have had a metal Dawn, zompires and a whole Twilight thing that only makes sense if you get drunk and someone explains it to you, not once, not one time has this lack of work ethic really been touched upon.
Slow breath in.
Even Xander’s rapid weight gain and still managing to attract sexy ladies was hunky dory with me. However that darn chimney really irritates. It’s the land (or dale) of the sun, why do they need a chimney? What happens in the house?
Wife: ‘I’m just going to throw another log on the fire’
Husband: ‘What a jolly good idea darling, it’s almost at that delightful point where the skin around my eyes starts to blister.’
Wife: ‘Make sure you turn the aircon in the rest of the house right up, we will destroy this environment slowly but surely.’
3. The chimney song
In this song the songstress (‘ladies a gentleman, a singer!’) repeatedly asks ‘What she gonna look like with a chimney on her.. WHAT … she gonna look like with a chimney on her?’ At this point in my life I was living in Durham and in the back garden we had one of those very old and pretty chimneys painted white and filled with flowers, so I always thought, ‘well, she’s going to look rather fancy if you ask me.’