Life had become tough for Cherie. At an early age she’d met Winston the man of her dreams, married and had two beautiful children who are both overachieving at school.

She would have little to say when a cashier asked how her day was, she’d always reply ‘amazing’ and she always meant it. Cherie would go out to lunch with her girlfriends and as they complained about their nightmare children and cheating husbands, she would just sit their quietly, becoming a bored wallflower. Cherie was worried she’d have to take up baking or veganism to seem interesting, but thankfully the doctor had bad news and Cherie has contracted a terrible wasting disease.

The joy filled and content life of picking up her kids from their successful after school activities or attending another of her husband’s award ceremonies where he’d receive huge bonuses has now, thank the holy Jesus, been interrupted. She now spends days in  hospital appointments being  tested as she bleeds from her nails along with the constant fear that comes with living with a terrible wasting disease.

‘Thankfully I now have something to talk about when I go out to lunch.’ Cherie boasted.

Cherie is no longer able to enjoy her pleasant tennis lessons with Tod on a Thursday or Yoga classes twice a week. Days not with doctors shaking their heads in confusion and weeping are now spent on a variety of daytime TV sofa’s talking about how she now cries bones and births a sack of flesh every third day.

Her friends are also keen to compliment this transformation. ‘Cherie was really devoid of personality, but, with this new terrible wasting disease I’m starting to like her. Also, she’s lost a ton of weight.’ Said Norris, one of Cherie’s old university friends.

This terrible wasting disease is also helping those Cherie has never met. Larry from Cincinnati, saw Cherie’s plight on Wake Up With Wendy. ‘I was so moved by what Cherie has achieved with the little time she has left that I had to do something. I’ve signed up a marathon and now I’ve gone from just nodding during conversations to having a constant topic to talk endlessly about.’

It’s hard to believe, but Cherie has even found time to set up a charity to help those with the same wasting disease. 

‘I’m really hoping my children will be able to take full advantage of my new charity, Cherie for Life, especially my daughter, she’s showing signs of being as dull as I was.’

Cherie’s book, Wasting Diseases Aren’t a Waste of Time, is available at all good retailers.

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